Wasuranai Kara

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

In the next two nights that Gren spent alone, he recalled more and more about Titan. He knew his obsession was bordering on madness. But it kept him alive. That was what mattered. He had to stay alive…had to make the obsession end.

The third night, Rumo came back. Gren had his eyes closed, but he heard the door open. He hadn’t slept at all. He had eaten less and less since he had come to the Prison. He was very thin.

It had been hot the past few nights. Gren had been sleeping with his shirt off. Rumo stared at him for a minute. Gren felt Rumo’s eyes run over him, but he pretended to be sleeping.

This shouldn’t bother me that much. Why must he stare! A part of Gren’s mind that hadn’t spoken since he had left Titan ceased its silence. He hadn’t paid any attention to anyone since he came to prison. Why did his mind have to wake up now? He knew Rumo wasn’t looking at him like that, anyway. No one looked at him like that.

"You don’t eat much, do you? You look like a fucking twig," Rumo remarked.

"And?" Gren kept his eyes closed.

"You’ll die if you keep that up."

"I’ve survived worse than starvation. And I eat some. What does it matter to you, anyway?"

"It doesn’t. I was just observing."

"Well, don’t. I didn’t ask for your opinion," Gren said. He wasn’t annoyed. He just wanted to end the conversation. He rolled over onto his stomach, hoping Rumo would take a hint. He hoped in vain, though.

"Well, I gave it to you. As far as I’m concerned, everyone has the right to my opinion."

"I have news for you," Gren said, sitting up and looking into Rumo’s eyes for the first time since they had ‘met,’ "No one wants your damned opinion. Least of all me."

"I would watch what you say, if I were you," Rumo growled.

"You don’t scare me. Nothing does now."

Rumo glared at him. "And what the fuck makes you so tough?"

"Who cares?" Gren said.

"I do."

"And who are you to me? Just leave me be. I haven’t done anything to you. Why the sudden interest in me?"

Rumo laughed a little. "Because. You’re so distant all the time, without any drugs or anything. And your eyes are so sad………"

Gren shook his head. "Just…ignore me. Pretend I don’t exist."

"Not so easy when we have to share a room."

"Pretend I’m not here, then."

"In a room this tiny, that is completely impossible. Besides………you cry in your sleep."

Gren stiffened, and his face reddened. The redness wasn’t completely obscured by his hair, either. He heard Rumo walk the few steps closer to the bed and sit next to him.

"Hit a soft spot, didn’t I?" Rumo was only half-teasing.

"Go to hell…" Gren whispered. He wasn’t thinking of Rumo, though. His mind had turned to Vicious.

No matter what happened in this place, it would always relate back to Vicious, Gren was sure. He felt that his need for revenge would drive him insane if he stayed here forever, unable to quell it. As far as Gren was concerned, Vicious had committed the crime of ultimate betrayal. Vicious should be sitting in this cell, not him.

"I’m sorry, Gren. I didn’t mean anything by it." The words made Gren want to cry. He looked up.

"What do you want from me, Rumo?"

"I look at you every day. You drift farther out of reality. It wouldn’t bother me so much if there was drugs or something behind it, but you just do it. You walk around like a fucking zombie…you don’t eat…and when you do sleep, you toss and turn. I’ve heard you scream before."

"I don’t scream!" Gren was red again. He knew that he probably did, but he didn’t want to admit it to someone like Rumo.

"Bullshit. You wouldn’t be that red if you didn’t believe me."

"Leave me alone!" Gren stood and walked to the other side of the room. Granted, it wasn’t very far. But he didn’t have to look at Rumo this way.

The lights turned out. There was no movement for a minute. Then, Gren heard Rumo’s boots as he closed the too-short distance between them. Strong arms wrapped around him. Gren stiffened, surprised by the taller man’s touch.

"What the hell?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"Shhhh…" Rumo replied, "I won’t make you talk to me if you don’t want to."

Gren was still shocked. Unbidden by conscious thought, he found himself turning around and welcoming the embrace. The last person who had wrapped his arms around Gren was…

"No. Let me go." Gren pulled away.

"What? Let me guess…you don’t go for men?"

Gren actually was able to laugh just a little at that. "That is completely untrue," he said, "It has nothing to do with my preferences."

"Oh? Then what? Is it just me?"

Gren shook his head. "It isn’t you. Not really. It’s…it’s something that happened when I was on Titan."

"You were on Titan!?" Rumo looked shocked. "You don’t look like the soldier type."

"And you don’t look like the type who goes for men."

"Okay, point proven," Rumo said, frowning. "But if you won’t let me touch you, then at least tell me why."

"You look like someone I knew."

"Someone who died?"

"If he had, I’d be a lot better off."

"I see…"

"His name is Vicious." The words seemed to come from nowhere. Gren had certainly not intended to mention Vicious to anyone.

"Vicious! You know Vicious!?" Rumo was even more shocked now. A lot of people knew Vicious, but very few had ever really met him. Those that had generally didn’t live through the experience.

"If you want to put it that way," Gren muttered, "then yes…I know Vicious." His voice had lowered. Even Rumo could tell that it was time to back off on that subject. He wasn’t completely insensitive. Gren was relieved.

"Gren?" Rumo asked, after a minute.

"What now?"

"If you ever change your mind about letting me touch you…"

"Don’t count on it."